To: Dick Morris, RE: shut the hell up already

You guys remember Dick Morris? This was a Republican politico that Bill Clinton took on as an advisor. Shrewd move on Bubba's part: in 1994 after HillaryCare crashed and burned, Republicans were worried about the Liberals taking over, and the war machine cranked into high gear. Led by Newt Gingrich, the Republicans took over Congress for the first time in decades. This crystalized the concept of checks and balances, and forced Bill Clinton to take on Mr. Morris as an advisor, to coach him in how to work with the Right Wing and still be productive. In 1996, Morris was scandalized for having a toe-sucking fest with a hooker. Clinton "asked him to resign", which in Washington translates into "handed him his hat and told him 'don't let the door hit your ass on the way out'."

Pause.

Now I think Bill Clinton was a great President, for reasons I have outlined in the past on this blog. I think he was the perfect antedote for the damage inflicted by Reagan and H.W. Bush. That said, the man was a horndog. I mean this guy, despite all the good he did, had a libido that would rival most rock stars. And sadly, a lot of the good he accomplished was since overshadowed by his diddling of an intern. Now with that in mind, when Bill Clinton tells you that you're too much of a sexual freak to work with him, that's bad. It's like being called a tree hugger by Al Gore. I mean, it's extreme. You'd think Clinton, with his mojo, would appreciate a fellow ladies' man, but what Dick Morris was into went beyond the pale, so much so that Clinton publicly had to distance himself. There's stories of how Bill nearly took a swing at him more than once, and in the years since it's easy to understand why.

Resume.

So now Morris makes a living among other things on Fox News, as a predictably anti-Democratic pundit. He is like their own personal Oscar the Grouch. He pops out of his can from time to time and spews some predictably negative venom twoards whatever Democrat they're discussing. This is a guy with zero training as a journalist, but he has a job on a news channel. Go figure.

My problem with Dick Morris is that he is so transparent. Of course he's anti-Democrat. He was outed as a whoremonger and humiliated when Clinton forced him to resign in disgrace. And rather than be apologetic, rather than seeking some obviously much-needed professional help, rather than showing any contrition whatsoever, he launched himself headlong into a career as an attack dog for whatever Right Wing outlet would cut him a check. He watched CSPAN and reads the papers and then opines on the news from a place of hurt feelings and kneecapped careers. He has made a career for himself by grinding his axe against the collective Left. The most pronounced item on Dick Morris' resume is the Herculian chip on his shoulder.

I'm less surprised at his mental state than I am at Fox's willingness to give him a soapbox. Fox (in vain) tries to promote itself as "fair and balanced", and then hands the microphone to this guy? I assume that to "balance" it out, they should give the microphone next to Noam Chomsky, Sean Penn, or some other "republicans are no damn good" mouthpiece. Just to even things out, you understand.

Morris is one of these guys champing at the bit to see Obama fail. His tiresome columns lament the passing of the torch to this America-hating socialist, and consistently predicts doom and gloom insofar as any of Obama's plans come to fruition. Morris is so single-mindedly dedicated to the notion that no good could ever come from a Democrat, I'm amazed anyone can listen to him and claim to have an open mind. I would find him amusing for his willingness to caricature himself as he does if it weren't for the fact that he seems to mean it, and he seems to think you should feel this way too. His writings are the worst sort of propoganda, aimed at hamstringing support for the President's efforts to repair the economy and the nation. Funny to me, since we just had eight years of Republican "leadership", and suddenly Dick Morris knows what we should do?

The point: Since Dick Morris seems to be teetering on the farthest edges of the right wing, we should all pay close attention to all of his ideas, all of his suggestions, all of his advice, and then immediately proceed to do the exact opposite. His pearls of wisdon read like the Republican Playbook since Bush stole, I mean won the election in 2000. And we see now in 2009 the dire straits our nation finds itself in as the result of these philosophies. It has been suggested that to do the same things over and over and expect different results is the very textbook definition of insanity. So now it is time for us to make a much overdue lurch towards sanity. It is time to abandon all things Republican, both in idea and action. It is time to tell Dick Morris to shut the hell up already.

By the way, we could just as easily substitute the same point for Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Mark Levin, et al.